There was a time when I struggled to speak. To feel heard, to feel significant, to articulate intense feelings and thoughts. To believe that intense thoughts and feelings were worthy of expression.
My usual response to cold viruses is a tickle in the throat, followed by common symptoms, and eventually a cough. One that has been known to linger for weeks and even months.
I was taught, be still, be safe, don't rock the boat, be a good (quiet) girl.
So I coughed and coughed.
These days are different. I feel bombarded. Evermore sensitive to the noises of the world. Little alone time. I am ravenous for silence.
There is little coughing now, instead, congested ears. I can barely hear my own thoughts.
"Evermore sensitive to the noises of the world."
ReplyDeletei understand this. somehow it is necessary to both make the self a shelter and to flee the shelter of sel. i'm not sure exactly how this works but i know it is necessary. quiet, yes, and time to be alone and in that aloneness connect to something else.
good thoughts and well wishes for you. please, find that time))))
xo
erin
my more recent approach is to find shelter amongst the chaos. it is not easy, but i have come some way.
DeleteYes, I am craving that Silence as well, only catching moments here and there in this frenetic season. Although this morning I took a full hour in the sun! Twas delightful! And now I must run and catch up! Definitely get your "fix" of soothing Silence! It will make all the difference in the world... Love, C
ReplyDeletethe crumbs of silence are something i think ;)
DeleteHi Monica,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving a kind comment. Your space here is lovely and your writing is just beautiful. I think so many people at this time of year are 'ravenous for silence'. I hope that you find some silence and peace amongst all the busyness.
Helen
lovely to see you here.
DeleteI totally agree. My symptoms are often related to my emotional state, the sore throat and aching back...if I keep centered I can hear my body to slow down.
ReplyDeleteI hope the clamor will quiet and your ears will feel better
good to see you!
Deleteyes, i have a strong belief that our bodies mirror our other states of being.
I do hope that you hear that silence. I understand completely. This year was a whirlwind, until finally there was nothingness. You just have to revel in it as much as you can when you have it for times when things are congested. It will come...
ReplyDeleteoh yes, i a a big reveller. lol
DeleteSending you slow mornings with a cup of tea curled around your fingers. Sometimes between all of the noise, the boys, and their high pitched wants and needs, I linger outside and sit on the front stoop with a worn journal and listen to the wind a bit, even if just for a few moments.....It amazes me how much the wind has to say....wishing you open ears and an open heart sweet girl. XO
ReplyDeletethe wind is my ally too. i do miss walking through the woods and listening to the wind speak. i, like you, try to grab it where i can.
DeleteI took time to step outside into the silence of our quiet country roads today...I needed it, and so I understand completely. I hope you find some silence in the hustle and bustle of the season.
ReplyDeletethat sounds marvellous. illness is keeping me indoors. i do so miss the trees.
DeleteYour writing is so beautiful and authentic. I have been feeling something similar recently and really appreciate your words~xo
ReplyDeletelovely to see you here. thank you for your kind words.
Deleteand may silence come.
ReplyDeletejust by expressing in words and again, sending your invitation into space,
i am sure it is already moving closer to you,
the silence.
warm hugs
thank you. i do believe that too.
DeleteHold on my love, it is coming.....just keep breathing, I am and taking Susan jeffer's advice saying to myself "it is alright, it is all alright", it's working for me!
ReplyDeleteHugs x
thank you. that's a lifelong mantra for me lol
Deletethe coughing and congestion, exactly why I will always prefer to spend my time in nature, walking through the woods, sitting by the lake....I can always breath deeply and hear clearly.
ReplyDeletehope you find some alone time soon. x
fortunately we live surrounded by good air. but i miss our actual walks crunching through leaf and twig.
DeleteYou know you are on to something right? I have always been a sensitive person, but lately yes bombarded with the "cries" of the world and those around me. What is this about? Trying hard not to be consumed and yes to find a voice that speaks clearly and full of honey and lemon
ReplyDeleteand i'm trying not to think it's older age LOL
DeleteThings change fdon't they?
ReplyDeleteWe'll find a balance one day Mon ;)
or just enjoy the roller coaster heehee
DeleteSometimes the most one can offer, and still be in a place of peace and love is silence
ReplyDeleteI was taught all those things as a little girl too, and had endless ear infections. I experience the same sensitivity to noise as well these days {although some days it's fine} and understand totally your phrase 'ravenous for silence' {beautiful}. Wishing you well again. x
ReplyDeletetoo many little girls are, don't you think? i'm hoping my girl is part of the new age of loud girls ;)
DeleteQuiet was not part of my life for many years,...now I seek it consistently & deliberately...I have to...sometimes that has meant cutting toxic people or situations out...there are very few places that are quiet in life, it is a quest :) ...I love the literally & analogical aspect of your post...
ReplyDelete:)
ooh yes, often it means cutting out people/situations/habits. a release from us first.
Deleteas much as i love certain sounds of life, i crave quiet as well. i even named my business (had to incorporate for tax reasons) sshhhh. lol!
ReplyDeletelately i've been hearing a constant buzzing in my ears. at night it get incredibly loud. of course, i googled it. there's no "cure". the suggestion is to have other noise drown it out. ha! i'm wondering if this is a metaphor for something, or if the universe and my body are trying to give me a message.
i hope you get your peace and quiet, and wellness.
much love.
yes... tinnitus. also a desire to not hear something else. i have that slightly, but a newer 'whooshing' noise has begun. i think if it's new we're supposed to get a medical check. i plan to.
Deleteis the whooshing happening in addition to the buzzing noise? i'd be curious to hear what your doctor has to say.
DeleteMore and more, as I grow older, I appreciate the blessings silence can bring to the body and spirit. In our congested daily life--sometimes both congested inner and outer lives!--time for true quiet and rest seems to fall low on the priority scale. Be taking good care of yourself... be kind to yourself when you can. Like you, much of my life I struggle to give voice to all that was inside me. I like to think express my authentic truth more and more with confidence. I like to do exercises for the throat chakra--this helps too! :o)
ReplyDeleteooh, throat chakra exercises in my teens would have been amazing!
Deleteway to cough it up Mon....miss your posts - must get here more, despite the busy-ness of my (these days)congested life!
ReplyDeletegood to see you here always!
Deleteravenous for silence....these words I understand
ReplyDelete♥walk lightly sister♥
love and light
I, too, identified with "ravenous for silence". Sicknesses, the holiday hustles, the pressure to buy/make send gifts, cards, blah blah blah. It just makes me tired. Maybe congested ears is a good thing. Now all that's needed is a way to block out the visual bombardment, crawl under the covers and just breathe :).
ReplyDeletemuch love my friend, be well soon
xo
Oh I get it now. It can take me a while sometimes as you are so wonderfully subtle. How fascinating that your body is telling you so much, and reacting in that way. Must have a looksee at what my own is saying.
ReplyDeleteyup, all our bodies do.just need us to listen.
DeleteIf you would like to explore how the world is not as quiet as we often perceive it to be and how we are slowly losing the precious resource of silence read - One Square Inch of Silence: One Man's Quest to Preserve Quiet by Gordon Hempton
ReplyDeleteD.L. Wood
yes, i know about it. brilliant. love the idea of having his 'job', lol
Delete